


In Thee

by ThunderThighsMish (Voib)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Powers (Supernatural), Author Is Sleep Deprived, Dead Mary Winchester, Emotional Hurt, Episode: s14e18 Absence, Heavy Angst, Hurt Dean Winchester, Jack Kline is a Winchester, M/M, Song Lyrics, dream walking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 21:42:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18484942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voib/pseuds/ThunderThighsMish
Summary: I was listening to music and BÖC came on. Needless to say, I got sad.It's recommended that you listen to the song while you read the fic.Here is a Spotify link.Here is an Apple Music link.I do not own this song, and I am not posting it in its entirety. This song belongs to Blue Öyster Cult.





	In Thee

**Author's Note:**

> I'm very tired. All mistakes are mine.

 

_Maybe I'll see you again, baby_

_And maybe I won't._

_Maybe you've bought your ticket_

_Gone back to Detroit._

_Airplanes make strangers of us all,_

_Give us distance,_

_Much too easily._

Dean attacked the eject button, forcing the Blue Öyster Cult tape from the deck. He grabbed the thing and threw it somewhere in the backseat, not caring for the moment if the vintage rock tape got damaged.

The happy chords of _In Thee_ did _not_ match the emotions stirring in his gut, and Dean tried everything he could to make sure that the tears wouldn’t come. His heavy heart only served to remind him of the tragedies that had happened that evening, and now Dean was putting the pedal to the metal and driving away from his problems.

Jack was out there somewhere, blood on his hands, and with a twisted plan to fix things. Deep down, Dean knew that no matter how much magic was forced into meaningless atoms, they couldn’t bring back anything good. The events of the day only served to show that.

And _Cas_.

Dean wanted to think that he’d done something wrong, some grand betrayal out of idiocy. But Dean knew that he’d do the same thing if it meant that _family_ got to stay around just a little bit longer. It just hurt how things worked out.

Now, _she_ was gone, and Dean was alone. The grand illusion of family that had been building from Jack to John and Mary was now being taken apart, piece by piece, just so Dean could suffer. The world wasn’t fair, and with every death, it only served to remind Dean that an absence was something that couldn’t be filled.

But _Cas_.

Somehow, the Winchester’s cruel seraph had miraculously turned into some malleable and soft. An angel that had the ability to not only care, but to keep caring without end. Cas had managed to always find his way back to Sam, to _Dean_ , and into their weird little family.

Dean slowed the impala down, bringing it down from the 90 miles he’d been railing it at to an easy 50. The purr of Baby’s engine always managed to calm him down when he needed it the most. Somehow, the presence of the Impala was something that was almost similar to Cas’. It was something dependable when the world was tearing itself apart.

Dean pulled off the road to a dirty turn around and put the Impala in park. His phone had been on silent for the entire ride, but now more than ever, Dean felt his attention drawn to it.

He reached over and grabbed the device off the passenger seat, staring into its black screen. He clicked it on, and read over the notification screen.

_3 missed calls._

_12 new messages._

_2 new voicemails._

Just as he was reading over it, a new text came from Cas. He opened the messages screen and clicked on Cas’ name.

_If you need me, my phone’s GPS will be turned on. Looking for Jack._

A lump formed in Dean’s throat, his anger turning straight into sadness. Cas couldn’t manage a simple ‘ _sorry_ ’ or even acknowledge that Dean’s mother had been turned into blast site in the middle of nowhere.

Dean shut the phone off and threw it back onto the seat. He put the Impala into drive and picked up speed, sailing down the highway away from Sam, away from Cas, and _especially_ away from Jack.

Eventually, his eyes started to close of their own accord, and he pulled off the country highway and into a motel space. The clerk just handed him the keys and he dragged his feet to a secluded room.

The carpet was stained, the sheets smelled, but Dean just kicked his shoes off and fell into bed, falling into a deep sleep.

He woke up in a lawn chair with a warm breeze flowing through his hair. The familiar lake bounded out in front of him and, for once, Dean felt at peace.

Cas’ stiff figure was standing beside him, staring out at the sunset falling on the lake.

“I didn’t know you still had the power to do this,” Dean said with a humorless huff.

“My grace is almost fully intact, I just don’t have the opportunity to use it.”

“Could’a fooled me.”

Silence. Then,

“That is not why I brought you here. I wanted to apologize, but I know that the medium of a phone’s screen is not considered very sincere.”

Dean huffed a laugh, with genuine amusement this time.

Castiel continued, “It seems that I have once again tricked myself into believing that I could do right by you.”

“Cas—you do realize that you’re an ancient being that doesn’t need to be tied down to some hunters with daddy problems. You could be curing malaria in Africa or performing miracles in some circus. You don’t _need_ to be here.”

Dean now had intense blue eyes staring into his own.

“You think that I am not needed?”

“No—I just think that you could do better, is all.”

“I think that helping the Winchesters is better than performing one-off miracles. But I assume that you are right, I could be anywhere in the world, or out of it, if I deemed it fit.”

Dean gave a little shrug.

“But I was given free will for a reason, and I intend to utilize it. I would much rather be ‘fighting the good fight’ than wasting my eons away.”

“Do what you need to, Cas.”

“And today, I intend to apologize. I didn’t know that Jack was capable of such acts, but I will put a stop to it. I have many feelings concerning the issue, but I hope you know that I _will_ solve it.”

Dean looked back towards the lake, confused. “You wanna kill the kid?”

“That is not a child, Dean. That is the son of Lucifer, and I will treat him as such.”

Dean felt conflicted. He knew that the kid had murdered both Nick and Mary in one go, but Dean still thought of him as a part of the family, as much as Cas or Sam.

Finally, Dean said “I understand.”

Castiel seemed like he was ready to end the dream, but Dean stopped him with a hand.

“I need you to know that I can help. This isn’t something that you should bare alone, no matter how much you want it as a form of punishment. If we keep beating ourselves up, we’re never gonna get anywhere, you understand?”

“Yes, Dean.”

And Dean woke up in a dark motel somewhere in the lower 48.

━━━━━━━━┛ ✠ ┗━━━━━━━━

_Well, I'll wrap myself in cities I travel,_

_I'll wrap myself in dreams._

_I'll wrap myself in solitude,_

_But I wish I could wrap myself_

_In thee._

The motel’s alarm clock couldn’t shut up soon enough with that damn song playing. Dean pounded on its top, nearly cracking the screen before the damn thing shut up.

Dean got out of bed easily enough, likely to do with last night’s angel presence. He pulled his boots on and grabbed the Impala’s keys from the night stand.

After he dropped the keys back at the front desk, a bored looking coyote stared Dean down before it scampered off into the woods behind Baby.

Dean started the engine and backed out of the parking lot, opening the Impala up on dawn’s early light. The sun’s intensity started to increase as Dean got further out into the country, putting the miles behind him.

_Tonight it's hot, without you,_

_Tomorrow will be cold._

_Winter will come along,_

_Driven by snow._

_Love, it makes strangers of us all,_

_When we part,_

_Oh so thoughtlessly._

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a kudo for me to wake up to! Better yet, leave a comment. :)


End file.
